Akatsuki Game Night
by Shadow of the Fire
Summary: See what happens when the Akatsuki members go up against each other in a card game with beer and snacks
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Naruto or Akatsuki **

Akatsuki Poker Night

In the middle of the Akatsuki hideout's living room, was the big round green poker table with ten chairs around it, with chips for 10 millions for each player and bowls and glasses for all of the them

The first one to show up was Kakuzu eager to win some money from his fellow Akatsuki members , next was Sasori because of his problems with making people wait and wait him self. The next came in a pair, Pain and Konan and it was easy to see they had something dirty in mind, but that look disappeared when they saw Sasori and Kakuzu and silently sat down. Like a lightning from a clear sky Zetsu showed up, soon followed by Itachi and Kisame.

"Can't you shut up for five minuets, just five minutes" Deidara yelled at Tobi

"B-But Deidara-senpai... Tobi was just being a good boy" Tobi said

They sat down, it was easy to see that Deidara was in pain from Tobi. There was a short silence that Tobi broke yelling out

"Why has we not started yet, Tobi has been a good boy right?"

"It's because we are missing one, BAKA!!" Deidara answered

"Kakuzu, you go get Hidan" Pain ordered

"Okay" Kakuzu said angry and left the table

Soon a large crash was heard from Hidan's room and Kakuzu yelling

"Why aren't you at the game?"

"Because gambling is a sin!" Hidan yelled out

"You already killed a priest, fucked with a hundred women and killed countless people for money, so gambling is not going to change anything at all, so get out there before I'm going to be pissed "

Then Hidan and Kakuzu came to the table, they were sitting in this order: Konan-Zetsu-Itachi-Hidan-Kakuzu-Deidara-Kisame-Sasori-Tobi-Pain

"Texas hold'em poker, like last time?" Konan asked

"Yes" Kakuzu answered

"You start dealing Konan" Pain said

As Konan started mixing the cards, Kisame asked about the blinds and Kakuzu answered

"Small blind is 100k and Big blind is150k, okay everybody?"

"That's fine" they all answered

"Okay first round, Zetsu you got small blind and Itachi big blind, and here is your cards" Konan said

First 3 cards is clubs knave, clubs nine and diamond ten

"I'm out" Zetsu said

"I'm in" Itachi

"This is bullshit" Hidan

"I'm staying" Kakuzu

"I'm out" Deidara

"I'm out too" Kisame

"I stay" Sasori

"I stay too" Tobi

"I'm out" Pain

"I'm out as well, so Pain were are your other bodies with the snacks and beer?" Konan asked

"They will be here soon" Pain answered

"Okay, now next card is heart two, so who leaves and who stays?" Konan asked

"I put in 200k" Itachi said

"I'm in on that" Kakuzu quickly said

"No way, I'm out" Sasori yelled

"Tobi leaves as well" Tobi said

"Okay, next card is clubs six"

"200k" Itachi said quiet

"Fine by me" Kakuzu said sure that Itachi bluffed

"Show your cards" Konan ordered

"I've got an eight and seven" Kakuzu said happy about him self, already trying to take all the chips

"I got a queen and a king"

"Itachi wins" Konan said with a little evil smirk on her face towards Kakuzu

It was easy to see Kakuzu was about to do as a volcano, and Deidara, EXPLODE!

Then Pain's other bodies came with the snacks and alcohol

"FINALLY" Hidan yelled" my sour cream and onion"

"Just give me my vodka" Kakuzu said with anger in his voice

"Still mad Kakuzu?" Kisame asked " Itachi beat you fair and square, he he"

"SHUT UP PUSSY" Kakuzu yelled out "Your the only one that doesn't drink any alcohol. I mean you only drink water, what are you, a fish or a man, not that I'm against you drinking water it's the cheapest"

The fish comment left an angry face on Kisame, and then Pain said something in Konan's ear

"He should only know that it's his vodka that's the most expensive" and to that Konan made a little laughter

"Okay I deal"Zetsu's right side said"

"Itachi has the small blind and Hidan has the big blind" Zetsu's left side said and started giving the cards, and in center was the cards ready

"So, who's in and who's out?" Zetsu said

**It's my first story so plz no flames and plz tell me if I should keep writing on this **


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Naruto **

Akatsuki Game Night

"Okay, it's a 7 of heart , queen of hearts and 5 of spades. So who's in?" Zetsu asked

"I'm out" Itachi said

"I stay" Hidan said

"I call" Kakuzu

"Why can't I get anything good, I'm out" Deidara

"I see and raise with 50k" Kisame

"I'm out" Sasori

"Tobi is out too" Tobi

"Not worth it" Pain

"I'm in" Konan

"I'm out" Zetsu

"50k more, fine by me" Hidan

"Me too" Kakuzu

"Fine, so it's Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame and Konan left" Zetsu said "with 300k in the pot and the next card is 3 of clubs"

"I stay" Hidan

"I am out" Kakuzu

"I'm in" Kisame

"I fold" Konan

"Okay, next card is 2 of heart, so show us your cards"

"I've got 9- and 5 of heart, giving me a flush" Hidan said

"I've got 8 of clubs and 6 of spade, I was hoping for a straight" Kisame said

"Well Hidan wins the 300k and I'm no longer the dealer so Itachi if you will take these cards I will go myself something to eat"Zetsu said angry, ready too leave

"We already thought of that" Kakuzu said before Zetsu had a change to leave" why do you think I would let Hidan get lost in the streets in that village, you know he kills people without asking afterward, so we got you a little human snack, literally"

Then Kakuzu gave Zetsu a big bowl with human fingers and toes.

"And Deidara, I don't want to see any more "mouth-fluids", on my chips again, that's why you got your own bowl, this time" Pain said, almost ready to kill him

"You know it's sicking, with those things in your palms, when you drool into the food others people eat" Itachi said cool as ever

"One drop 'cause your hungry and it will hunt you for the rest of your life" Deidara said sad

"Let's just get on with the game"Kakuzu said impatient

A few hours later...

The only once left in the game was Itachi, Kakuzu and Tobi. Kakuzu is still in the game, because he was a bit lucky, to take down Kisame and Hidan, if he didn't he wold been out of cash by now. Itachi made Zetsu's black and white side argue with each other, because he put a small genjutsu on the white side and made him angry, after that he pissed Sasori of by saying he couldn't wait much longer, it ended in showdown, witch during Itachi used his sharingan, but Sasori said he was immune, but after wards Itachi said he just use it to see deep into his eyes to see the reflection of his glass eyes.

Tobi was another case, he's apparently very good at controlling others, he also took advantage of Zetsu's arguments and made it worse, slowly, in the meantime he successfully made Deidara so angry he was not able to control him self, and everyone left tore him apart. One round before Deidara was out, Tobi started complementing Konan to the sky and back, witch really pissed Pain of and he and Konan started killing one another, it ended with them revealing everything abort their playing style and they were destroyed just after Sasori.

Zetsu offered to stay as a dealer, and he did. The last anyone saw abort Konan and Pain was they headed towards the stairs, filled with an ocean of alcohol, just before they went up the stairs Pain started sucking Konan's face and carried her up stairs bride style, it was only Itachi that saw that out of the corner of his eye, a bit later Kakuzu noticed Pain's other bodies going up stairs also. Sasori was, of coerce, pissed so he just got away from there as fast as he could. Hidan went to his room to pray for forgiveness, because he had sin, for the first time in his live as he said himself. Kisame went to his room too feed his pet fishes, something abort a big sushi tomorrow. Deidara just went to some random place to blow up stuff and yell to the running people abort his so called art.

"Let's start" Zetsu said, as he started dealing, and laid three cards in the middle

"King of diamond, ten of clubs and ace of spade" Zetsu's black side said as the white replied "Who's in and who's out?"

"Raise with two millions" Itachi said with no emotions at all

"Your bluffing, I see and raise with four more" Kakuzu said eager

"Tobi is still a good boy, so I also raise with five" Tobi said sounding a little stupid

After Tobi's raising Itachi and Kakuzu called

"Okay, next card is four of spades" Zetsu said

"I raise fifteen million"Itachi still without emotion

"So obvious, another twenty from me, see if you can...."Kakuzu said

"All in"Tobi interrupted

"Sure I've got more cash then you so I don't have too...."

"All in"Itachi said, now forcing Kakuzu too go all in as well

Kakuzu went all in as well and Zetsu went on

"So the last card is ace of diamond, show your cards"and Tobi did first" a jack of hearts and a five of spades, you were hoping for a queen, idiot, Kakuzu you have a... wow two kings witch give you full house with kings and aces, so Itachi can you beat that?"

"Of course, he can't I will be taking that pile of cash, ha ha ha"

"You goal is darkening it's road towards it, I have two aces, witch give me four of a kind witch beats a full house" Itachi said still without any emotion

**So what do you think plz review and I know the ending sucks **


End file.
